Addicted To You
by EmmaTheCo-Writer
Summary: 'Alison was like a drug to Emily; something that she couldn't stop wanting even though she knew it was bad for her.' Emison, set just after Alison disappeared with flashbacks to before she did. One-shot!


**Title: Addicted To You**

_**Fandom: Pretty Little Liars**_

_**Rated: T**_

**Summary: 'Alison was like a drug to Emily; something that she couldn't stop wanting even though she knew it was bad for her.' Emison, set just after Alison disappeared with flashbacks to before she did.**

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars, because, honestly, if I did Emison would totally be cannon by now. I also don't own the lyrics used at the beginning of the story, they're from the song '_Addicted To You'_ by _Avicii_.**

_**Warning: Obviously, femslash. So there's that. It's rated 'T' so nothing to worry about besides the femslash.**_

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**Addicted To You**

_I'm addicted to you, hooked on your love,_

_Like a powerful drug I can't get enough of,_

_Lost in your eyes, drowning in blue,_

_Out of control, what can I do?_

_I'm addicted to you,_

* * *

_"How are you holding up, Emily?"_

The question was practically the only thing she had been hearing all week, and, of course, it was accompanied by a pitying stare and a tight lipped smile that she assumed was meant to comfort her.

It didn't.

"I'm holding up fine, Mrs. James," Emily forced out of her mouth, her lips pressed into a thin line, "Thank you for asking."

Honestly, Emily _wasn't_ _"holding up fine"_ at all, but saying that you were was customary. People only asked out of politeness, not out of genuine concern, and Emily wasn't about to spill her heart out to her sixty-seven year old neighbor who she only faintly remembered as giving out the worst candy on Halloween.

Mrs. James clasped one of Emily's hands within her own, and then gave her a gentle pat on the cheek before going on her way again. Emily stole a quick look around her to make sure that no one else was going to attempt to "_comfort_" her, and made a bee-line for her house when no one else was in sight.

Once Emily entered her house she flopped down on her couch and turned the TV on, thankful that her mother went out for groceries so she wouldn't have to see her pitying stares that resembled Mrs. James' -and frankly, practically everyone around town's- stares so much.

She let the TV fade into nothing more then sound in the background as she mused on why she -and her friends- were the subject of the towns pity.

It was the same exact reason why she wasn't holding up _fine_, and why she wouldn't ever be holding up _fine_.

_Alison DiLaurentis_ had disappeared last month.

Her _best friend_ had disappeared last month.

The girl that she _loved_ had disappeared last month.

And by now nearly everyone assumed that she was dead, thus the god-forsaken _pity_. After Alison was gone for a day people assumed that she stayed out a little too late at a party, and after she was gone for a week people assumed that she had gotten into a fight with her parents and ran away. They were still nonchalant about it, insisting that she would return home in a matter of days.

Alison never came back, though.

Her other friends had taken it hard, but no one -Emily would even argue that she was more devastated than Mr. and Mrs. DiLaurentis- took it harder then Emily.

She had locked herself up in her room after the police stopped looking and after everyone else just... gave up, Emily was the one who held onto the hope that Alison was just playing a prank that got too out of hand and that she would be back soon.

Because Alison was like a drug to Emily.

She was addictive to Emily; when Alison had left Emily's house for the day she always left Emily wanting more- _needing_ more.

Alison wasn't just _like_ a drug to Emily, she was _exactly_ like a drug to Emily; she was something that Emily couldn't stop wanting even though she knew it was bad for her

Because Alison _was _bad for Emily.

Alison was a bit of a mystery. With Emily, Alison was always so carefree and sweet, and a rude word was almost _never_ uttered between them. This was the Alison that Emily had fell in love with, and this was the Alison that Emily thought fell in love with her too.

* * *

_Guess I should have seen it coming,_

_Caught me by surprise..._

* * *

_"How long are we going away for?" Emily questioned, staring shyly at Alison as she attempted to flirt back without making it too obvious that she was doing so; the day had been going lovely so far, and there was no way that Emily was going to mess that up._

_Emily wasn't exactly sure _why_ she expected Alison to get mad at her by flirting back, after all, Alison had been talking about running away to Paris with her, and though Emily was unsure if she was serious, she was _positive_ that saying that implied that you liked someone._

_Alison didn't reply, and Emily's heartbeat quickly accelerated._

_What if she took it too far? What if she miss-read the signals? What if Alison didn't like her like _that _after all? Emily wasn't doubting herself for much longer when Alison finally responded._

_"How about forever?" Alison's small, sweet, smile didn't calm Emily's heart; it made it beat faster and made butterflies appear inside her stomach, but this feeling was a good feeling, so Emily smiled back at Alison with all her heart._

* * *

_I wasn't looking where I was going_

_I fell into your eyes_

* * *

But then Alison was also mean, whether she meant to be or not. Emily had always suspected that this was a defense mechanism to keep people from knowing the sweet, caring, Alison that Emily knew, but when Alison teased her about the way she stared at that girl on TV a _little_ too long, she couldn't help but feel a sting in her heart.

Emily's tired mind could really only think of one line to sum up Alison perfectly, "_When she was good, she was very very good, but when she was bad she was horrid_."

She felt herself heave a large sigh at her statement. Yes, it was true that Alison could be horrible to anything and anyone- that was something that no one would ever question, not even her, but very few people would believe her when she said that Alison actually had a soft side.

If the other girls were here they would have berated Emily for still thinking about Alison after she had been gone for months, but even if they had it wouldn't have changed a thing.

In Emily's heart she knew that Alison was alive, out there somewhere, laughing at everyone in Rosewood who believes that she's dead. "_Idiots,_" She would have muttered.

But while Emily's heart knew nothing but that to be true, Emily's mind knew that it simply wasn't the case. Alison was dead and gone, how she had died forever a mystery. It was something that Alison certainly would have liked.

"_Haven't you guys ever thought about how deliciously tragic it would be to die in some incredibly mysterious way?_"

At the time Emily hadn't been sure if Alison was serious or not, and now she was even less sure, her memories of that day clouded by the fact that she and Ali had visited the kissing rock shortly after and how her and Alison had written their initials on the rock.

* * *

_EF + AD_

* * *

_"What if someone sees this?"_

_Emily was paranoid, Alison decided._

_"Lie," She replied as she admired her handy work, the bright red standing out against the cold gray color. With the initials written, Ali held out the can of red spray paint to Emily to let her put of some finishing touches._

_Alison said "Lie" as if it were the answer to every problem on the earth, but it some how comforted Emily in a strange way._

_Taking the can, Emily scrutinized the rock, ignoring how her heart rate accelerated when the blonde's hand brushed against her own. Drawing in a slow breath, Emily steadied her hand and slowly spray painted a heart surrounding their initials._

_"There," She started, talking with a confidence she didn't have. "Now we're done."_

* * *

_I couldn't live without you now,_

_Oh, I know I'd go insane_

* * *

Emily let out a shaky breath and closed her eye, a silent tear falling down her cheek.

Inside her mind she was picturing Alison's perfect cerulean blue eyes, her soft hands and her gentle voice when she was talking to Emily alone.

Another tear.

Inside her mind was a much better world, Emily decided. It was a much better world because Alison was in it. Because Alison, ultimately, was everything to Emily.

And Emily was everything to Alison, though she wouldn't know that for a long, long time.

* * *

_Out of control, what can I do?_

_I'm addicted to you._


End file.
